Don’t stop thinkin’ about the ’90s
Buzzfeed has a long, interesting interview
with Juanita Broaddrick, the woman who says Bill Clinton raped her in
an Arkansas hotel room almost 40 years ago. Maybe this case has always
bugged you too, because we are supposed to believe women when it comes
to rape. (For the record, I don’t “always” believe women. I think some
women are messed up, and some women lie.)
Why did Juanita Broaddrick change her story? ask people who otherwise
would automatically answer “rape survivors do that sometimes.” (When
Paula Jones’s lawyers came knocking, she told them that nothing had
happened, she says, because she wanted it to go away.)
Why is Juanita Broaddrick so cozy with all the rightwingers? they
ask. (Because she hates Hillary Clinton, because she believes that she
tried to silence her.)
And … that’s pretty much all the “I don’t believe Juanita” crowd has.
Her friends found her with bruised lips, crying, right after the rape
allegedly occurred. That’s what we call “contemporaneous evidence” when
we believe women.
Here are a few quick thinkerings, which you may or may not disagree with, quite loudly!
I can absolutely see Bill Clinton doing
this (then, not now) and not even thinking of it as rape, but thinking
of it as dominant, alpha sex. I can see a LOT of men doing that during
that time period, before we started telling them in the ’80s, “hey, that
is rape, do not do that.” I can see YOUR NICE GRANDPA doing that, back
then.
In the Buzzfeed piece, Broaddrick’s
precocious 13-year-old grandson — who sounds like a really sweet young
man — has learned this year about his grandmother’s “complicated” past,
thanks to overheard conversations and gaps filled in by Google. He says
to force sex on a woman means you are an “evil” person. I don’t think
this is true. I think you can do something horrible, realize later that
it is horrible, be ashamed forever and try to keep it secret and never
do it again. (Especially if you’re, say, a teenager whose impulse control is still years away from being properly developed.)
“Rape is about power, not sex.” For
those for whom it’s about power, those are the serial rapist guys, and
they hate women and want to punish us. But I don’t think that’s in every
case. I think good men can rape, and be sorry, and not do it again.
This is very bad feminism.
While I (sort of? am leaning toward?)
believe Juanita Broaddrick, her characterization of Hillary Clinton
sounds irrational, maybe induced from PTSD:
Soon after, Broaddrick says, she ran into Hillary Clinton
at a political rally Broaddrick had promised friends she would attend.
Hillary shook her hand and thanked her for everything she had done for
Bill. To Broaddrick, the gesture felt like a threat to stay silent. As
attorney general and later governor, Bill Clinton was “the main person
that regulated my business and my income,” Broaddrick said. “After she
said what she did to me, I just thought, I will keep quiet.”
There is simply no reason Hillary Clinton would have known
jackshit about it; Bill Clinton was always lying to her, and she loved
him, and she kept believing him when it was long past silly to do so.
“Honey, I raped that nice lady” isn’t a thing he would have opened up to
her about, and “thanks so much for the campaigning you did for my
husband” just doesn’t sound like a threat in any possible universe.
Just because Broaddrick seems irrational about Hillary Clinton’s response doesn’t make her irrational about the rest.
To sum up, I think Bill Clinton could
very well have raped Juanita Broaddrick; that it doesn’t make him an
evil man, or irredeemable (I’m Catholic; we’re all forgiven, if we’re
sorry, and Broaddrick says Bill Clinton personally called her up to
apologize). It doesn’t even necessarily make him a bad feminist — you
know, later, once he stops doing that.
I don’t necessarily believe the woman who says Donald Trump raped her when she was a 13-year-old girl. (I’m pretty sure he did rape his wife though, seeing as how she said so under oath.)
It doesn’t seem in character — to me — that he would threaten to have
her disappeared. It seems a lot more Trumpy that he’d send her off with a
“good girl” and a smack on the ass, assuming she’d be grateful to have
hosted Trump’s magnificent schlong.
Researchers at Stanford University in California think they’ve identified how humans lost the spikes our ancestors had on their penises. It’s thought the loss of a particular bit of DNA that controls a hormone gene is likely to be behind the change. It was believed the spines were used to remove the sperm of competitors who had mated with a female. It’s thought that the loss would have reflected a more monogamous reproductive strategy.
Of course there will be people who claim this was all set up by Sarkozy, but sometimes people just stumble into their own mess.
- he has had 3 wives (which in itself means nothing except) - he admitted to an indiscretion last year (which does not indicate guilt of a crime) - he has a special relationship with Air France to get on any of their planes at any time in First Class, which he did (odd for a socialist isn't it - to expect such perks from a capitalist enterprise). - he left without his phone and other personal items
By PHILIP MESSING, JAMIE SCHRAM, LARRY CELONA and BILL SANDERSON May 14, 2011 New York Post
The French political bigshot who heads the International Monetary Fund was arrested for allegedly sodomizing a Manhattan hotel maid today — hauled off an Air France flight just moments before takeoff from Kennedy Airport, police said.
Three Port Authority detectives pulled Dominique Strauss-Kahn from the plane’s first-class cabin just two minutes before it was due to depart for Paris, according to police sources said.
Strauss-Kahn, 62 — who was expected to challenge Nicholas Sarkozy in the 2012 French presidential election — was turned over to NYPD officers and brought to the Special Victims Unit’s uptown squadroom.
The trouble began around noon, when a 32-year-old housekeeper entered Strauss-Kahn’s room at the Sofitel on West 44th Street — apparently unaware he was still inside.
The married Strauss-Kahn was in his bathroom, said sources. He emerged naked, grabbed her and "he jumps her," a source said.
Then, Strauss-Kahn allegedly threw the housekeeper on the room’s bed and forced her to perform oral sex on him, said the sources.
The maid managed to break free and ran to a hotel worker to tell what happened, said a source. Soon afterward, Strauss-Kahn got dressed and headed off to Kennedy Airport for his flight to Paris.
When he was approached on the plane by Port Authority cops, he said, "What is this about?" sources said. He was then taken off without handcuffs.
Two law enforcement sources said Strauss-Kahn was trying to flee the US. Police said he left his cellphone and other personal items in the room.
Strauss-Kahn, who had a meeting planned for today with German chancellor Angela Merkel, has a special arrangement with Air France that allows him to get on any flight and sit in first class, the sources said. He was traveling alone.
The NYPD’s Special Victims Unit is investigating the case, the sources said.
The victim was taken to Roosevelt Hospital, where she was being treated for trauma.
Strauss-Kahn, a leader of France’s Socialist Party, is a longtime rival to Sarkozy, who was said in a news report today to have kicked off a smear campaign that focused on his lavish lifestyle. It included Strauss-Kahn’s purchase of suits from the same tailor who clothes President Obama.
But Strauss-Kahn seems able to find trouble on his own. In 2008, he publicly admitted to "an error of judgment" for having an affair with an IMF subordinate.
In France’s 2007 vote, Strauss-Kahn lost the Socialist Party nomination to Segolene Royal, who in turn fell to defeat against Sarkozy, leader of the right-wing Union for a Popular Movement.
But Sarkozy, who still sees Strauss-Kahn as his likeliest electoral rival, is believed to have maneuvered him out of France by backing him to head the Washington-based International Monetary Fund.
Strauss-Kahn is married to New York-born Anne Sinclair, a leading French TV journalist. She is his third wife; he has four children from two prior marriages.
A spokeswoman for the US State Department had no immediate comment. IMF did not immediately return calls.
The fling thing: Casual sex is taboo no more. A young nation gets all frisky and experimental between the sheets
A survey on casual sex in a year that brought cheating partners to prime-time TV and promiscuous pin-up stars (and presidents) to front-page headlines? It hit the spot alright, with 52.3 per cent respondents of the Outlook-Moods Sex Survey 2011 giving one-night stands no more than a what’s-the-big-deal shrug. More than half of those quizzed no longer blame it on drinks and drugs (or Rio); and far from worry or guilt, the morning-after feeling, it turns out, is overwhelmingly of pleasure.
Maximum City scores the most points for being best suited for flings, followed not so closely by Delhi and Goa. And while parties remain the usual suspects, social networking sites have become a virtual pleasure trove of no-strings-attached liaisons. Thankfully, it’s not so casual where it counts: 58 per cent play it safe and protected and only 1.2 per cent appear blissfully careless. But before you announce romps the new national pastime, here are some more numbers for you to do the math with: over 80 per cent respondents claim to have never had paid sex, nearly 70 per cent have never had a one-night stand and half of them say they were stopped from straying by shaadi and parivaar. It happens only in India?
******************************
There are two or three thoughts I believe worth noting. Most of the answers would be reproduced anywhere else if given. A couple are worth noting.
1) a significant number (above 90%) would not have sex with someone who was not of their race/ethnicity/religion.
And I thought Americans were racist. One of the most diverse polyglot societies on earth today and the world thinks WE are racist. I suppose it helps them feel better about themselves if they are using the US as a model of racism. They can pretend they aren't.
2) If you found out your partner or spouse was having sex with someone else, what would you do?
I would think a significant number of responders would mention counseling, talking, breaking up ... few would mention, at least publicly - killing the person. Except in India where 16.5 % would KILL the other person.
Open, tolerant and very forgiving. Just the sort of people I'd like to turn over control to. I suppose it would be fine as long as they don't find out their wives prefer Americans.
The idea that India is a model to be followed, a leader among nations, is simply foolhardy, mimiked by fools and idiots.
India has far deeper problems than can be explained in a few sentences, but the following is one example of why India will never be a power to follow until they have solved this issue ... but I suppose all cultures are the same, equal, and worthy.
Shobha was the youngest of seven children and was dedicated aged eight. At 12, she was taken out of school and her first paying "partner" was her 35-year-old brother-in-law. "No one asked my consent, money talks. Girls like me grow up in living fear of reaching puberty." She was determined that her own daughter would escape the same fate. "The devadasi system isn't about religion. Its about economics. We're just traded like a commodity. I know the pains as a serving devadasi, how exploitative this practice is. We are the victims. What happened to me shouldn't happen in another's life. I want to stop this and I decided to fight."
Sometimes several generations from the same family are devadasi, like Lalitha, whose mother and grandmother were dedicated before her. Like Hanamavva, however, Lalitha is determined to stop the practice. "I was shocked to find out I have to practice this system because I have been dedicated. I was determined not to become devadasi. In my village there are 100 devadasi. About 20 are between 12 and 18. I try to persuade all my friends not to get into this evil practice but they are vulnerable. Both the parents and the community are pressuring them."
Devadasi remain common in the poorest towns and villages of provinces of the states of Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh. In 2006, the National Legal Service Authority in Bangalore launched an awareness programme for police and judges, and said there were 250,000 "devadasi" girls who had been dedicated to Yellamma and Khandoba temples. But the remoteness of many of the villages, and the continuing rise in demand from organised traffickers who pay well for young girls to fill the brothels of India's vast cities, is thwarting efforts to combat the system.
"The social customs combined with economic pressures have pushed girls into the system. The fact that not one of them is married and most of them have children not only leaves them in a traumatised condition but renders their children stigmatised forever," said an authority spokesman.
Now 26 and diagnosed with Aids, she has returned to her village, Mudhol in southern India, weak and unable to work. "We are a cursed community. Men use us and throw us away," she says. Applying talcum powder to her daughter's face and tying ribbons to her hair, she says: "I am going to die soon and then who will look after her?" The daughter of a devadasi, Parvatamma plans to dedicate her own daughter to Yellamma, a practice that is now outlawed in India.
[...]
Roopa, now 16, has come to buy bangles at the festival. She was dedicated to the goddess seven years ago and was told that Yellamma would protect her. Her virginity was auctioned in the village, and since then she has supported her family by working as a prostitute out of her home in a village close to Saundatti.
"The first time it was hard," she admits. In fact, her vagina was slashed with a razor blade by the man she was supposed to sleep with the first time. Her future, like that of other devadasis, is uncertain. Once they are around 45, at which point they are no longer considered attractive, devadasis try to eke out a living by becoming jogathis or begging near the temple.
[...]
BL Patil, the founder of Vimochana, an organisation working towards the eradication of the devadasi system, says that although the dedication ceremonies are banned, the practice is still prevalent, as families and priests conduct them in secret. The National Commission for Women estimate that there are 48,358 Devadasis currently in India.
"For certain SC communities [Scheduled Caste – a government classification of lower castes] this has become a way of life, sanctioned by tradition," he says. The priests conduct the ceremonies in their own houses because "it is profitable for them".
All cultures are equal, all are the same, all are worthy.
The boy will be punished in the hereafter, but not for a mortal sin. The pedophile will be raped in hell for all eternity by Saddam. I would help pay for the boy's defense if his case was still going. Was killing the guy right - the law should have taken action, not dropped the case.
When the law fails and does so knowing the crimes it is ignoring ....
A 15-year-old boy who killed a suspected paedophile ''to teach him a lesson'' has been given a life sentence.
12:08PM GMT 17 Nov 2010 The Telegraph
The teenager was told he must serve at least nine years behind bars for the murder of Robert Daley, 45.
A girl aged 15 - who said she had been abused by Mr Daley - was given a six-year sentence for his manslaughter.
The 45-year-old victim was stabbed five times in April at his flat in Brixton, south London, hours after a separate sex abuse case against him was dropped.
His killers, who were both 14 at the time, were convicted last month by an Old Bailey jury, each by a majority of 10-2.
The court heard that the girl, her 16-year-old sister and a woman had complained to police that Mr Daley had abused them.
Only the 16-year-old had been willing to proceed with her allegations, leading to his arrest. But lawyers decided there was a lack of evidence.
It was after a phone call in which Mr Daley rang the 16-year-old and "gloated" that the case had been dropped that the boy - who was the 16-year-old's boyfriend - and the girl went to his home and killed him.
A struggle broke out in his kitchen and he was fatally injured when two of the five knife wounds pierced his heart.
Judge Anthony Morris told the boy: "You saw what you were doing as acting in revenge for what you saw as an insult to your girlfriend."
The killers disposed of the blade, a mobile telephone, and bloodstained clothing, the court heard, and the judge said: "You both showed chilling criminal sophistication for 14-year-olds."
He added that he was prepared to accept that the allegations against Mr Daley were true.
But he said it was "understandable" in the circumstances of the case that the Crown Prosecution Service had dropped the case.
An enraged father who disapproved of his daughter's older boyfriend went to his home and castrated him with a bread knife.
By Allan Hall Berlin 10:11PM GMT 12 Dec 2010
Helmut Seifert, 47, an ethnic German originally from Russia, was enraged when he heard his 17-year-old daughter was having a relationship with Phillip Genscher, 57.
He went to police in the town of Bielefeld where he lives but officers said they were powerless to intervene.
"The man then recruited two work colleagues at his factory and then went to the house of the victim," said police.
"The man was forced to remove his trousers and, fully conscious, he was castrated. The severed testicles were taken away by the perpetrator."
The man was close to bleeding to death but managed to call police. His life was saved but he remains a eunuch for life.
Seifert pleaded guilty and will be on trial for attempted murder next year. But he has remained silent on who his accomplices were.
He told police: "I received a phone call anonymously that my daughter was involved with a guy 40 years older than her. You said you couldn't stop him - so I did.
Switzerland is considering repealing its incest laws because they are "obsolete".
Allan Hall in Berlin 13 Dec 2010
The upper house of the Swiss parliament has drafted a law decriminalising sex between consenting family members which must now be considered by the government.
There have been only three cases of incest since 1984.
Switzerland, which recently held a referendum passing a draconian law that will boot out foreigners convicted of committing the smallest of crimes, insists that children within families will continue to be protected by laws governing abuse and paedophilia.
Daniel Vischer, a Green party MP, said he saw nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex, even if they were related.
"Incest is a difficult moral question, but not one that is answered by penal law," he said.
Barbara Schmid Federer of The Christian People's Party of Switzerland said the proposal from the upper house was "completely repugnant."
"I for one could not countenance painting out such a law from the statute books."
The Protestant People's Party is also opposed to decriminalising the offence which at present carries a maximum three year jail term.
A spokesman for the party said: "Murder is also quite rare in Switzerland but no one suggests that we remove that as an office from the statutes."
Of course and naturally, one can say - but look at your own, the priests abused ...
And if we tallied the total number of priests world-wide (not in the US - my culture) how many do you think? 1/2%, 1%, 2% ? I think the number is somewhere around 1-2%. It is not an American phenomena nor a Catholic phenomena for there are 1 billion Catholics and over 400,000 priests. The 2% would be 8,000. Further, that is world-wide, in every country, every culture, every social strata. Kenyan abuse is localized in one place and the number is 1,000. Just as the call for the church to clean its house, with questions of whether priests should be allowed to marry (which is irrelevant given which gender is abusing which gender for the most part) and what is wrong in the church ... I wonder what is possibly wrong in Kenya and I am willing to go out on a limb and consider the possibility this behavior occurs in a few other countries, as widespread or even more so.
Firing of Teachers Underscores the Bigger Problem of Sexual Abuse in Africa
By DANA HUGHES NAIROBI, Kenya, Oct. 8, 2010 — ABC News
More than 1,000 teachers have been fired for sexually abusing girls over the last two years, according to a new report from the Kenyan government. Last year, 600 teachers were dismissed over allegations of sexual abuse, and 500 more have been let go this year. The allegations range from inappropriate kissing and touching to impregnating girls as young as 12.
Although the number of reported cases represents less than half of 1 percent of Kenya's 240,000 teachers, the firings underscore a serious epidemic of sexual abuse in the country, say child advocacy and women's rights groups.
"In this year's report of abuse in relation to children, sexual violence topped the list at 86 percent," said Brian Weke, the program manager of the Cradle, a Kenyan child advocacy group. The report states the highest number of abusers were fathers, followed closely by neighbors and teachers. Weke said he'd witnessed the abuse himself while visiting an elementary school in western Kenya where a teacher had impregnated at least 10 girls.
The extent of sexual abuse in Kenya came to light after the government set up a hotline for the victims. "Initially, we were not able to know what was happening in the country because of the poor communication, but now communication is everywhere. There's mobile [phones] across the country," Ahmed Hussein, the director of children's services at the Ministry of Gender, Children and Social Development, told the BBC.
Hussein said that some of the teachers had already been arrested and prosecuted. Many, however, were simply fired and sent home.
Technically, it is against Kenyan law for an adult to have sex with a minor under the age of 18, but the law is hard to enforce, particularly in rural areas. The victim's family has to press charges and become heavily involved in the investigation, so most accused sexual abusers escape prosecution.
In the case of teachers, the accused and school officials often pay off the the girl's family, who is often poor, to keep the family from prosecuting.
Education for girls, particularly in rural areas of Kenya, still remains a struggle. Once they reach their preteen years, girls are kept at home to help their mothers care for younger siblings, carry water and maintain the household. In some communities, tradition still dictates that teenage girls can be married off by their parents. A girl attending school who's from a poor, uneducated family is especially vulnerable to abuse.
"One of the reasons & these girls are susceptible to abuse is & that [parents] are illiterate and don't know what constitutes abuse," said Weke. "They have no proper capacity and means to protect their children."
Kenya's Hotline Encourages Reporting of Abuse
The fact that the Kenyan government is acknowledging the problem is considered progress. Kenya is one of only 14 countries to have a hotline encouraging victims to report abuse. While more countries in Africa are acknowledging it, sexual abuse isn't widely talked about, let alone reported.
It's often considered secondary to health care and having access to water and food. "As we are focusing on economic and social rights, we need to make sure we are protecting our children," said Weke. "It is high time that we comprehensively start dealing with cases of sexual violence."
Allocating money for programs to protect children is as important to the future of Africa as any other social or economic project, said Weke. "They should actually go hand in hand."
By ALICIA CHANG AP Science Writer Sun Aug 15, 2010
LOS ANGELES – There's good news for parents who worry that their teenagers' sex lives are affecting their school performance: A provocative new study has found that teens in committed relationships do no better or worse in school than those who don't have sex.
The same isn't true for teens who "hook up." Researchers found that those who have casual flings get lower grades and have more school-related problems compared with those who abstain.
The findings, presented Sunday at a meeting of the American Sociological Association in Atlanta, challenge to some extent assumptions that sexually active teens tend to do poorer in school.
It's not so much whether a teen has sex that determines academic success, the researchers say, but the type of sexual relationship they're engaged in. Teens in serious relationships may find social and emotional support in their sex partners, reducing their anxiety and stress levels in life and in school.
"This should give some comfort to parents who may be concerned that their teenage son or daughter is dating," said sociologist Peggy Giordano of Bowling Green State University, who had no role in the research. Teen sex is "not going to derail their educational trajectories," she said.
Last year, nearly half of high school students reported having sexual intercourse, and 14 percent have had four or more partners, according to a federal survey released this summer.
For the study, University of California, Davis sociologist Bill McCarthy and University of Minnesota sociologist Eric Grodsky analyzed surveys and school transcripts from the largest national follow-up study of teens that began during the 1994-95 academic year. The researchers said not much has changed in terms of when teens first have sex or attitudes toward teen sex in the past decade.
The duo examined how teens' sexual behaviors affected their learning and controlled for factors that might influence their results.
Among the findings:
_Teens in serious relationships did not differ from their abstinent counterparts in terms of their grade-point average, how attached they are to school or college expectations. They were also not more likely to have problems in school, be suspended or absent.
_Compared with virgins, teens who have casual sex had lower GPAs, cared less about school and experienced more problems in school. For example, female teens who have flings had GPAs that were 0.16 points lower than abstinent teens. Male teens who have casual sex had GPAs that were 0.30 points lower than those who do not have sex. Teens who hook up also were at greater risk of being suspended or expelled and had lower odds of expecting to go to college.
_Teens who have sex — whether it's a serious or casual relationship — were at higher risk of being truant and dropping out compared with teens who don't have sex. The researchers said the dropout results should be interpreted with caution because the numbers were small.
"Having sex outside of a romantic relationship may exacerbate the stress youths experience, contributing to problems in school," Grodsky said.
In a statement, the Family Research Council said the study confirms what the group has long advocated about the negative consequences of casual sex.
But the council said it "would not interpret less severe educational impacts on students involved in `committed' sexual relationships as a green light for comprehensive" sex education.
University of Southern California sociologist Julie Albright disagreed. She said it might be time to revamp sex education to "emphasize the importance of relationships and spell out the consequences of casual sex."
The study dispels the notion that all teen sex is bad, said Marie Harvey, professor of public health at Oregon State University.
"The type of relationship really matters. When it comes to sexual behavior, it takes two to tango," said Harvey, adding that safe sex should be practiced to prevent teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
'Committed relationship' - I wonder, what does that mean to a 9th grader (in some schools, 9th grade makes it into high school)? What does it mean to a sophmore? A junior? Committed? Hmm, I think i would have said something like - committed means you only have sex with each other.
Yea. I see how that works now ... and so at 14, only have sex with the other person, and that is an anchor for them and may assist them in doing fine in life/school. Yea. I have always marvelled at how serious 14 year olds are. How insightful and respectful. Always thinking about 10 years down the road - family, profession, home ... yep. Committed. In fact, I don't think I have ever known any student in high school who was not insightful, respectful, mature, responsible, thoughtful ... no wonder it works out.
I wonder, if we asked any of those teens who had 4 partners, whether they considered any of them to have occured within a 'committed relationship'. I couldn't imagine otherwise. All high school children are so mature and respectful - the guy would naturally tell his girlfriend it was fine she wouldn't have sex with him that night, he was fine with cuddling and would of course listen to her explain all the issues she was having without of course wanting him to do anything about the problems. Yea, why not - and don't think I care whether kids have sex or not - I don't. I was and I did reasonably ok so I could care less about the sex part - I do care about the agenda behind the studies. It is disingenuous and harmful - far worse than the high school kid 'sleeping' with 3 random people they hooked up with that night.
I suppose these are the 1% who are low-life and uncivilized.
Watch the video from Memritv.org. Feminists are more concerned about how harmed they are in the US, and the need to have coed bathrooms to bring true equality ... they are pathetic.
1.The term “marriage” derives from the Latin word mas meaning “male” or “masculine.” The earliest known use of the word in English dates from the thirteenth century.a
2.Due to jobs, kids, TV, the Internet, hobbies, and home and family responsibilities, the average married couple spends just four minutes a day alone together.g
3.The Talmud is very strict about banning extramarital sex—but also enforcing marital sex. The Talmud even lays out a timetable for how often husbands should “rejoice” their wives. For men of independent means, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in 30 days; and for sailors, once in six months.e
4.Over 75% of people who marry partners from an affair eventually divorce.h
5.The Oneida colony established in New York in 1848 advocated “complex” or group marriage in which every woman was married to every man. They also practiced “scientific breeding” where parents where matched by a committee according to physical and mental health.e
6.Traditionally, bridesmaids would be dressed in similar bride-like gowns to confuse rival suitors, evil spirits, and robbers.b
7.Marrying younger than age 25 dramatically raises the divorce risk. Also, the divorce risk is higher when the woman is much older than the man, though the reverse isn’t as a strong factor.l
On average, married couples have sex 58 times per year
8.The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week.g
9.At Italian weddings, it is not unusual for both the bride and groom to break a glass. The number of shards will be equal to the number of happy years the couple will have.b
10.The word “wife” is likely from the Proto-Indo-European root weip (“to turn, twist, wrap”) or ghwibh, which has a root meaning “shame” or “pudenda.”o
11.The word “husband” is from the Old Norse husbondi or “master of the house” (literally, hus “house” + bondi “householder, dweller”).i
12.Some scholars trace the word “bride” to the Proto-Indo-European root bru, “to cook, brew, make broth.”b
13.The term “groom” is from the Old English guma, meaning “man.”f
14.In three states—Arkansas, Utah, and Oklahoma—women tend to marry younger, at an average age of 24. Men’s average age is 26. In the northeastern states of New York, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts, men and women wait about four years longer to marry. The U.S. average age for women is 25.6 and for men, 27.7.n
15.A person’s level of education influences the age at which they marry. Couples tend to marry later in states with higher numbers of college-educated adults, while the opposite is true for states with lower education levels.n
16.Nevada, Maine, and Oklahoma have the highest percentage of divorced adults. Arkansas and Oklahoma have the highest rates of people who have been married at least three times.n
17.The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared with 62% for cohabitations.g
18.Hammurabi’s Code (ca. 1790 B.C.), an ancient Babylonian law code, contains some of the oldest known and recorded marriage laws. These early laws defined marriage as a contract that paradoxically served to protect women and restrict them. According to the Code, a man could divorce his wife if she could not bear children or of she was a “gadabout” who humiliated her husband in public and neglected her house. Additionally, she could be “pitched” in a river if she committed adultery.g
19.Washington, D.C., has the lowest marriage rate in the nation.c
20.Approximately $6 billion in revenue is lost by American businesses as a result of decreased worker productivity linked to marriage hardship. Employees in a happy marriage, in contrast, tend to increase a company’s bottom line.g
The Great Recession has been one of the greatest strains on marriage in decades
21.CNN reports that the current economy is the biggest stress on married couples in the past 60 years.j
22.A New Woman’s Day and AOL Living poll found that 72% of women surveyed have considered leaving their husbands at some point.g
23.Married couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can lead to a decrease in sexual attraction and general health. Additionally, a spouse’s chances of becoming obese increase by 37% if his or her partner is obese.g
24.A 2008 study found that marital satisfaction improves once children leave home. However, if marital problems existed before, an empty nest often reveals those otherwise masked issues.g
25.People whose marriage has broken down at the time they are diagnosed with cancer do not live as long as cancer patients who are widowed, have strong marriages, or who have never been married.k
26.In ancient Greece, Solon (638-538 B.C.) once contemplated making marriage compulsory, and in Athens under Pericles (495-429 B.C.), bachelors were excluded from certain public positions. In Sparta, single and childless men were treated with scorn. In ancient Rome, Augustus (63 B.C.-A.D. 14) passed drastic laws compelling people to marry and penalized those who remained single.m
27.A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract.b
28.Adults who are childhood cancer survivors are 20-25% less likely to marry compared with their siblings and the general American population.k
29.Stress associated with divorce affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fend off the disease. The health benefits of remarriage are reduced the second and third times around.g
30.Throughout most of history, marriage was not necessarily based on mutual love, but an institution devoted to acquiring in-laws and property and to provide the family additional labor forces (by having children).e
31.A white New Orleans man in the late nineteenth century transfused himself with blood from a black woman he loved so he could overcome anti-discrimination laws by claiming he was black and marry her.n
32.One nineteenth-century New York legislator insisted that letting married women own their own property attacked both God and Nature.
33.Just two years after marriage, an estimated 20% of couples make love fewer than 10 times in a year.g
34.One in three American marriages is “low sex” or “no sex.”g
35.The number of marriage therapists in the United States has increased 50-fold between 1970 and 1990.g
36.In the United States, over 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce, and nearly 74% of third marriages end in divorce.g
37.Marriage does more to promote life satisfaction than money, sex, or even children, say Wake Forest University psychologists.g
38.Compared to singles, married people accumulate about four times more savings and assets. Those who divorced had assets 77% lower than singles.g
39.Married elderly people are more likely to maintain daily health-promoting habits, such as exercising, not smoking, eating breakfast, and having regular medical check-ups.g
40.More than friendship, laughter, forgiveness, compatiblility, and sex, spouses name trust as the element crucial for a happy marriage.g
41.Eighty-one percent of happily married couples said their partner’s friends and family rarely interfered with the relationship, compared to just 38% of unhappy couples.g
42.Eighty-five percent of couples have had premarital sex.g
Nearly 60 percent of couples have had an affair, with most affairs occurring within the 25-39 age bracket
43.Nearly 60% of married adults have had at least one affair.g
44.The cost of an average wedding is $20,000. The cost of an average divorce is $20,000.g
45.Words form only 7% of our communication with anyone, including spouses. Tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language is responsible for 55% of the messages spouses receive from each other.g
46.Women who report a fair division of housework were happier in their marriages than women who thought their husbands didn’t do their fair share. Wives also spent more quality time with their husbands when they thought the housework was divided fairly.d
47.A 15-year-long study found that a person’s happiness level before marriage was the best predictor of happiness after marriage. In other words, marriage won’t automatically make one happy.d
48.Researchers found a huge decline in happiness four years into a marriage with another decline in years seven to eight. In fact, half of all divorces occur in the first seven years of marriage, which gives rise to the popular term “the seven-year itch.”d
49.More than two in five Catholics marry outside their church, twice as many as in the 1960s. There are at least one million Jewish-Christian marriages in the U.S. Two in five Muslims in America have chosen non-Muslim spouses.d
50.Married people are twice as likely to go to church as unmarried people.g
51.Half of emotional affairs become sexual affairs.g
52.While couples with children are less likely to divorce than childless couples, the arrival of a new baby is more likely to bring more stress and emotional distance than new happiness. Nearly 90% of couples experienced decrease in martial satisfaction after the birth of their first child.g
53.Over 40% of married couples in the U.S. include at least one spouse who has been married before. As many as 60% of divorced women and men will marry again, many within just five years.g
Birth order is an important factor in determining the success of a marriage
54.Birth order can influence whether a marriage succeeds or fails. The most successful marriages are those where the oldest sister of brothers marries the youngest brother of sisters. Two firstborns, however, tend to be more aggressive and can create higher levels of tension. The highest divorce rates are when an only child marries another only child.j
55.The number of men and women age 65 and older cohabiting outside of marriage nearly doubled between 1990 and 2000.g
56.Because Virginia law required an ex-slave to leave the state once freed, one freed woman petitioned the legislature in 1815 to become a slave again so she could stay married to her still-enslaved husband.e
57.For many centuries, the Catholic Church argued that contraception was a sin and made the wife no better “than a harlot.” Up until 1930, many Protestant churches agreed.e
58.One seventeenth-century Massachusetts husband was put in stocks alongside his adulterous wife and her lover because the community reasoned she wouldn’t have strayed if her husband had been fulfilling is marital obligations.e
59.Research points to certain characteristics that are most often linked to infidelity, such as being raised in a family where having affairs is considered normal, having a personality that values excitement and risk taking over marital stability, having coworkers and friends who believe affairs are acceptable, and feeling emotionally distant from one’s spouse.l
60.No sex in a marriage has a much more powerful negative impact on a marriage than good sex has a positive impact.d
61.Modern Western marriage traditions have long been shaped by Roman, Hebrew, and Germanic cultures as well as by doctrines and traditions of the Medieval Christian church, the Protestant Reformation, and the Industrial Revolution.a
62.Levirate marriage, where a man is obligated to marry his brother’s widow if she had no sons to care for her, is sometimes required in the Bible (as in Deuteronomy) and sometimes prohibited (as in Leviticus).e
63.The first recorded mention of same-sex marriage occurs in Ancient Rome and seems to have occurred without too much debate until Christianity became the official religion. In 1989, Denmark was the first post-Christianity nation to legally recognize same-sex marriage.a
-- Posted November 18, 2009
References
a Boswell, John. 1995. Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe. New York, NY: Random House.
b Bride’s Book of Etiquette. 2002. New York, NY: Perigee Books.
c Connolly, Katie. “Why So Few D.C. Residents Are Married.” Newsweek.com. October 20, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
d Gottman, John M. and Julie Schwartz Gottman. 2006. 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
e Graff, E.J. 1999. What Is Marriage For: The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.
f “Groom.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
g Harrar, Sari and Rita DeMaria. 2007. The 7 Stages of Marriage: Laughter, Intimacy, and Passion. Pleasantville, NY: Reader’s Digest Books.
h Hein, Holly. Sexual Detours: Infidelity and Intimacy at the Crossroads. 2000. New York, NY: St. Martin's Press.
i “Husband.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
j Mannes, George. “Is the Economy Ruining Your Marriage?” CNN.com. August 21, 2009. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
k Moore, Matthew. “Divorce Damages Your Health—and Getting Remarried Barely Helps.” Telegraph.co.uk. July 27, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
l Neal, Rome. “Signs of Divorce Ahead?: New Study Tries to Predict Which Marriages Will Last.” CBSNEWS.com. August 7, 2002. Accessed: October 29, 2009.
m Squire, Susan. 2008. I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage. New York, NY: Bloomsbury Press.
n “Where You Live May Affect When You Get Married.” CNN.com. October 20, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
o “Wife.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
This is where you go when nothing is off limits and parents play little role, but to pay taxes. The government takes over, the government is the nanny, and the nanny runs the family.
By Anthony Bond Thursday, 22 July, 2010 East Anglia Daily Times
THE number of schools in Suffolk which can offer the controversial morning-after pill to schoolgirls has dramatically increased in just a year, the EADT has learned.
Of the 33 secondary schools in the NHS Suffolk area, there are now 25 which can provide the emergency contraception to girls - without having to get permission or inform the student’s parents.
This is an increase from just nine in January 2009.
A Freedom of Information request by the EADT to NHS Suffolk also found that in 2009/10, there were 26 occasions when the morning-after pill was dispensed to schoolgirls.
Last night the Suffolk division of the National Union of Teachers (NUT) said it was concerned that the family planning message was not getting across to Suffolk’s schoolchildren.
Graham White, secretary of the Suffolk division NUT, said he believed the morning-after pill was needed in some schools. He added: “I am disappointed that the number of schools providing the morning-after pill is as high as that.
“I do not think that the family planning message is getting across in Suffolk because of the fact that there are so many schools now with the morning-after pill. I think it may be that the warning is seen as irrelevant to some pupils and they do not like being given advice. You can only advise and if they choose to ignore it then the morning-after pill needs to be there. If you did not have it then you may start to get into issues with abortion.”
Nurses at schools which allow morning-after pills to be dispensed to schoolgirls are not allowed by law to inform or get permission from the student’s parents - even if the child is under 16.
However, if they feel the student is at risk of harm or being abused then they can report it to the school and social services.
NHS Suffolk would not say which schools provided the morning-after pill or dispensed it on the 26 occasions in 2009/10.
However, it was reported in January 2009 that nine schools in the county provided the emergency contraception. They were Great Cornard Upper School, Stowmarket High School, Orwell and Deben high schools in Felixstowe, East Bergholt High School, Leiston High School, Farlingaye High School in Woodbridge and Stoke Park and Chantry high schools in Ipswich.
Last night a spokesman for Suffolk County Council said schools provide sex and relationships education which teaches the importance of a loving and stable relationship, respect, love and care for family life.
The spokesman added: “Evidence from the National Teenage Pregnancy Strategy shows that the biggest impact on reducing teenage conception rates is the co-ordination of both good quality Sex and Relationship Education with access to good quality contraceptive and sexual health services for young people.”
A spokesman for NHS Suffolk added: “A school nursing service, provided by Suffolk Community Healthcare, the provider arm of NHS Suffolk, is available in all secondary schools within the NHS Suffolk area. School nurses may dispense Emergency Hormonal Contraceptives (EHC) where this is permitted by the school. Not all schools allow contraceptives to be dispensed on their premises; according to our information there are eight schools where EHC is not dispensed.”
A Minnesota town is outraged over reports that an illegal immigrant was implanted with a penis pump – paid for by taxpayers.
Shakopee Police Chief Jeff Tate said the expense to taxpayers was more than $50,000.
“It’s shocking,” he told FOX News Radio. “It’s certainly disturbing as well. You know it’s not going to set well with the public at large.”
Scott County Attorney Pat Ciliberto wants to know how an illegal immigrant was able to obtain tens of thousands of dollars in medical assistance.
“There’s no logical argument for why that should have been approved,” Ciliberto told the Shakopee News. “I don’t know how many illegal aliens are getting emergency medical assistance for such a procedure.”
Ciliberto told county commissioners the cost of taking care of illegal immigrants in their community is skyrocketing.
“It should be obvious when Scott County goes from seven bookings in 2006 to 90 bookings in 2009 – that Arizona’s problem is Minnesota’s problem, too,” he told the newspaper.
According to published numbers, the county spent more than $800,000 housing inmates with immigration holds – and that doesn’t include medical coverage.
“We have no control over the southern border,” he said. “We don’t know who is coming in and what country they’re coming from.”
Regardless, local officials said they are required by federal and state laws to provide welfare to illegals – from court costs to health care – including a penis pump.
At least one local said they sympathize with the plight of Arizonans.
“My hats off to Arizona, to people who’ve said, ‘We’ve had enough,’” Commissioner Barbara Marschall told the newspaper. “We’re thousands (of) miles away from the southern border. It’s here and it’s going to get worse.”
When kindergarten through fifth grade students return to class at Veterans Memorial Elementary School in Provincetown, Mass., this fall, they'll be able to ask the school nurse for condoms.
Thanks to a new, district-wide policy approved by the Provincetown School Board, condoms are now available to students in all schools, regardless of their age. Parents will not be informed if their kids request condoms.
Officials say that there's no set age when sexual activity starts and students who ask for condoms will also receive counseling and information on abstinence.
Debate over the decision focused not on whether condoms should be available, but whether the policy was too restrictive for students, particularly those in high school. According to the Provincetown Banner, some committee members were worried that students will be forced to speak to a nurse, instead of having access in a more discreet way.
Not everyone is thrilled by the idea of condoms for elementary kids. Some Provincetown parents have expressed skepticism, and Kris Mineau, president of the conservative Massachusetts Family Institute, says the entire concept is absurd.
JAKARTA (Reuters) - The release of video clips appearing to show top starlets having sex has sparked renewed calls for tighter Internet controls in majority-Muslim Indonesia and more use of a controversial anti-pornography law.
The anti-porn law, passed in 2008, was seen by many as a sign of the growing influence of conservative Islam in policy-making in traditionally moderate Indonesia, a worry for some investors hoping for pro-market reforms.
Police are now considering invoking it in an investigation into the release on the grainy clips that appear to show pop singer Nazril "Ariel" Irham having sex, in one clip with television star girlfriend Luna Maya, while in another with actress Cut Tari.
The stars have denied it is them. Local media reported Irham as saying his laptop was stolen last year and police have called the stars for questioning.
Information Minister Tifatul Sembiring has expressed disgust at the clips, which have dominated Indonesian news since being leaked earlier this month.
"Why would anyone tape such a private thing?" Sembiring was quoted as saying by local newspaper the Jakarta Post, which also reported him saying new rules were needed to ban "negative" Internet content.
Sembiring's Islam-based party PKS, seen as one of the most conservative parties in parliament, is a key member of President Bambang Susilo Yudhoyono's ruling coalition and pushed earlier this year for more Internet censorship controls. The plan was dropped after public outcry.
The party's president, Luthfi Hasan Ishaaq, told Reuters the clips showed inappropriate material was too easily accessible.
"To protect a community, there must be control, we cannot have total freedom," said the Saudi Arabia-educated politician. "To create comfort and overcome negative effects on communities who are not ready and not supposed to consume certain material, then controls are a very good idea."
When asked if he would support limiting access to sites like YouTube or Facebook, Ishaaq said he would "if it was in the national interest". He expected the anti-porn law, used to charge nightclub dancers this year, to be used more often in future.
If letters to the editor are any judge, reactions from ordinary Indonesians to the country's first celebrity sex tape scandal have varied from voyeuristic interest to irritation.
"I think corruption is worse for society than a few sex videos," one scribe, "Peter", wrote to the Jakarta Post.
Just the sort of rational people we want as friends ... Maybe we need a new Obama world tour, send him to Bali to apologize, and mend fences. Fences may have helped Alit.
A Balinese teenager caught in the act of intercourse with a cow passed out on Friday when he was forced to marry the animal in a ceremony witnessed by hundreds of curious onlookers.
As the Jakarta Globe reported earlier in the day, Ngurah Alit, 18, an unemployed youth from the seaside village of Yeh Embang in Jembrana, was caught stark naked positioned behind the cow in a rice paddy field.
In his defence, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments.
As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to “marry” the animal.
Alit, however, according to Detik.com, passed out surrounded by locals and police, who were attempting to prevent a number of journalists from covering the spectacle.
It is unclear whether or not he got to say “I do.”
Alit’s collapse prompted his mother to begin screaming hysterically, while other family members shouted at photographers not to take pictures.
“Poor kid. He’s actually a quiet kid,” said one villager.
As part of the ceremony, Alit’s victim and new bride was drowned in ocean.
Alit, on the other hand, was symbolically drowned and bathed on the beach.
“Only his clothes were thrown into the sea,” the villager said.
Village chief Ida Bagus Legawa declared that the village had been “cleansed” from the “defilement from the incident.”
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - American teenagers are using condoms more when they have sex but some may be losing their fear of pregnancy, according to a government survey released on Wednesday.
The survey on teen sex found that 95 percent of 15- to 19-year-olds who had ever had sex had used a condom at least once. But it also found that just 12 percent of boys who had avoided sex did so because they feared getting a girl pregnant.
"Attitude measures show that most teens are motivated to avoid a pregnancy," the report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics reads.
But it showed those fears fading as attitudes change toward having children outside of marriage. Only 47 percent of unmarried teen males said they would be "very upset" if they got a partner pregnant, while 58 percent females would.
The NCHS researchers sat down in the homes of 2,767 teens across the United States to get detailed data on sexual behavior.
They found that 42 percent of 15- to 19-year-old girls had ever had sex and 43 percent of boys, which they said was not a significant change from 2002.
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I have to wonder if perhaps there is another reason, not mentioned in this survey and perhaps intentionally not raised in the questioning.