Friday, May 4, 2012

Dear Mexico

A letter from a concerned neighbour:

When we moved in some time ago, we had our problems.  I think we resolved them when we paid you off, I mean, paid you for any inconvenience you felt over the discrepancy with property lines.  Yes, we had some difficult times, but we paid you off, I mean, paid for all your inconveniences.

We watched as our children grew up, and while some of your kids would sneak over the property line, we didn't pay a lot of attention - we were neighbours.  We even hired some of your kids to do some work for us, in an effort to benefit both of us - the customers we serve and your kids and their friends. 

Things started to get messy in the late 20th century when several of your family members started to rebel.  As I recall, it was Chiapas and Guerrero who were busy causing problems for the family.  I remember the difficult times and how many members of your family ended up leaving and spending time in our facilities.  I remember the police going to your house more times than I can count.  So many problems and it was unfortunate you lost several family members during the struggles with Chiapas and Guerrero.

Then the problem got worse and it wasn't just with my kids using a little drug now and again.  I admit, we had to send our kids to rehab a few times, but as I understand it, 25% of your family have been arrested for use of drugs, and we all know that in your house, the laws for drug use are much more lax!

Now people are being killed in the streets, hung from poles, and beheaded.  This is too much.  It is no longer a problem just for your family.  A solution however is available.

We have several thousands of unemployed former Marines and Army who would be willing to accept a stipend to help clean up your neighbourhood.  We will use our intelligence services to find out who is on the take in your police, army, and government agencies.  We will arrest them, with your permission, and we will end the control by the cartels of 2/3 of your neighbourhood.

We will do all this because we are good neighbours and cannot have the problems overflowing into our home.  We would accept whatever rate you would be willing to charge for increased oil production.  We have been trying for several decades to cut off our need for oil from outside the neighbourhood and you can help us with this project.  At the same time, we can help provide greater funding to help all your family members without the usual and normal amounts of money taken by the police, government, and other corrupt officials.

This offer is indefinite, but I would like to suggest we have only so much patience before we unilaterally assist you in cleaning out the sewer.

Your Concerned Neighbours.


Make Mine Freedom - 1948

American Form of Government

Who's on First? Certainly isn't the Euro.