The Late-Mr. Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
Known affectionately to his friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering. Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird catches the worm;
Life isn’t always fair, and
Maybe it was my fault.
And how to take the bitter with the sweet.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge), and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).
His health began to deteriorate in the 1960’s with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It Virus and rapidly declined when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place – i.e. reports of a six year old boy being charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; girls suspended for possessing Midol, and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing their job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a pupil, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and had wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a $3 million dollar settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility and his son Reason. He is survived by his four step-brothers: I know My Rights; I Want It Now; It’s Not My Fault; and I’m a Victim and two step sisters: Half-wit and Dim-wit.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
RIP Common Sense.
(no idea where this comes from - there are versions on the internet, although most of the above was from a sheet of paper I was given while in London. Some of it, I modified.)
common
sense
is
dead
Posts
