Liberal Bait and Switch

Liberal Bait and Switch

by Cam Cannon

I got a question about these embryos we’re going to destroy in the name of science. Are they white, or black? Hey, it don’t matter to me; they all look the same. But I really don’t want to get into hot water later. What kind of hot water? Well, the kind William Bennett found himself eyeball deep in when he said if “…[Y]ou wanted to reduce crime, you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down.”

Outrage, hysteria, fire and brimstone followed, most of it from Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, who demanded an apology. Never mind the fact that Bennett had clarified, “That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do,” this was a situation that, like slavery, apparently, could only be rectified with an apology. What good would an apology do, anyway? He still said it. It’s not like court, where it can be stricken from the record. And would it really satisfy Reid and Pelosi? Of course not, they just wanted to see a talk radio host begging forgiveness.

Liberals like to support things, like abortion, and do a quick about-face when the things they support are presented in an unfavorable light. Now, all of the sudden, Reid and Pelosi care if aborted babies are black or white? A hypothetical from a talk radio host is treated with more disdain than, oh, I don’t know, yanking a baby feet first from the uterus and stabbing its head with scissors. They argue that Partial Birth Abortion is rare, but rarer still is the practice of mass-abortion on the basis of race, so what got them so irate? Bennett is against abortion, and was speaking hypothetically. They’re for it! They want the government to fund it! It’s like in “Falling Down,” when Michael Douglas says, “I’m the bad guy?” Bennett presented a hypothesis, shot it full of holes - holes that Reid and Pelosi roundly dismiss when they’re not presented in the context of race. To quote William “D-Fens” Foster, “How did that happen?” In this case, it was the liberal-pet-issue-bait-and-switch.

Take affirmative action. I know it’s more complicated than black and white, but again, it’s an issue that liberals are largely for, and conservatives are largely against. But just suggest, I dare you, make even the slightest hint that oh, say, Michelle Obama got into Princeton and subsequently landed a job at a prestigious law firm, all because of affirmative action. Wait. Before you say it, you better pull a Kate Winslet: practice a speech in front of the mirror. Grovel. Plead.

Offer to take sensitivity training. Actually, I believe Michelle is a smart woman who has achieved everything on her own merits. She navigated her way through a racist system, earned her way, and deserves everything she got as a result. But other minorities need the help of affirmative action and other programs, because they’re not on a level playing field? This is the elitism of the Democratic Party. They achieve without the programs that they support, because they’re special.

Look at Michael Moore (sorry, easy target), who claims in his book “Dude, Where’s My Country,” that the American people need to let go of the rags to riches Horatio Alger myth. Get that? The college dropout who scraped together money to make several entertaining fantasy films and now lives in the lap of luxury polishing his Oscar is telling you, America, that there’s no American Dream, when in fact, he is the living, breathing, eating, and eating, and eating embodiment of said Dream! He made it. Because. He’s special.

This is why they trumpet public education and send their kids to private school. They’re special. In fact, instead of crying sexism at suggestions that, say, Katie Couric needed affirmative action to achieve her post, liberals should respond much differently. “Yeah,” they should say, “Katie Couric did make it because of affirmative action, and it proves that the system works.” Maybe Katie Couric isn’t a good example, but how refreshing would it be if Democrats weren’t embarrassed about giving such paltry sums to charity? What if Al Gore had said, “True, I didn’t.

It’s because I think the gov’ment’s supposed to take care of people.” Do you know how sweet that’d be? Sweet as ten gay ninjas on a sugar high.






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