World Opinion - Sept: Oh Canada ...

The United States is a very large country. We are a country with over 300 million people living at any given time, within our borders. According to recent accounts, we add one new person every 30 seconds, and that new addition is not from birth increases. We have as many opinions in this country as we do people - on every subject.

At any given time we have Jerry Springer guests, some believe Elvis is alive, that UFOs fly our friendly skies, that bigfoot and creatures from middle earth transform into what appear to be earthlings, all the way over the ledge with the 9/11 conspiracies. We do have our share of fruitcakes, nuts, fools, idiots, and retarded rodeo clowns, BUT that number is, as a whole, statistically insignificant.

Less than 1% of a population at any given time is irrelevant as to what their opinions are, and we tend, generally, as Americans, to be middle-of-the-roaders (not to be mistaken for middle -earthers although the US is or could be in the middle of the earth depending on ones perspective.

The number of fools and idiots, nuts, and fruitcakes who believe the nonsense listed above are deserving of a strong suggestion that they not reproduce, for all our sakes. That is generally how Americans regard idiocy.

Then we have the flavorful retarded rodeo clowns who run around screaming and hissing about repairing American relations around the world to a chorus of Amens. For me, the chorus is even more problematic than retarded politicians. Mindless fools who like the sound of something and Amen it to death, who repeat the same mantra without evidence nor purpose - simply because they are the chorus. One presidential candidate said they would immediately send two former presidents on a round-the-world tour to tell the world we are back (and open for business I presume) and work very hard to repair relations with all the nations of the world that have, for seven or eight years been trampled upon. I assume that also means the Lincoln Bedroom would also be back up for sale.

A wise owl would ask - who are these nations we must repair relations with. Anyone who does not ask that question is neither wise nor very useful, instead they play to rhetoric and the retarded rodeo clown mentality (aka Jerry Springer guests).So who are they, these esteemed nations we must work so hard to rebuild relations?


Canada our closest neighbor and trading partner.
In 5 parts.
Part 1:
What can you say about a country that until very recently (2005-2006) and perhaps it still does - permitted anyone into their country that wanted to drop by. Imagine the following: a very lonely person living in the back hills of a far away country, without passport or papers, just money for a ticket and a visitors visa, lands in Canada and yells out - I am a refuge, I am seeking asylum. That person is given a pass, taken to a room, questioned, fills out paperwork, given a hearing date several months down the road, given a meal ticket and the address for a free lodging and sent off. Guess what percent ever show up for their hearing?? Now, realize that some of those 'refugees' are not, and some are al qaida and some used Canada to sneak into the US.

Part 2:
I have been to Canada. I went in April 2007. I went for a funeral. I took with me a medium size suitcase filled with a suit jacket, jeans, shorts, socks, pair of shoes and as I recall a book or two, plus some papers to read. I was stopped in Vancouver

Sidebar: When I appeared at LAX for my direct flight - my suitcase was scanned once at the ticket counter and then again as it rides through the suitcase area to the plane. I was scanned at the security checkpoint - legs out, arms up, shoes off.

I was stopped in Vancouver by a very unhappy woman who probably hated men. I was wearing shorts, no jacket, nothing in my pockets (because I was trying to minimize any issues in LA getting on the plane). She asked me some questions and as best as I can recall the conversation went something like the following:
(H)er: What brings you to Canada?
(M)e: A funeral
H: Who's funeral
M: My aunt
H: When did she pass away/die
M: I don't recall, a couple weeks ago or so
H: When did you buy your ticket
M: I don't know, I assume after she died.
H: How long are you staying
M: Less than 72 hrs
H: Why so little time
M: I am just here for the funeral and then I am returning home.
H: Where do you live
M: Los Angeles
H: What do you do for work
M: Teach
H: Where
M: You wouldn't know the name if I told you
H: What's the name of the school.
M: [School name]
H: What do you teach
M: History
H: What type of history
M: I teach all subject areas.
H: Ok (flipping through the ticket) Where is the funeral
M: On Vancouver island in a place called Courtney
H: When is it
M: Tomorrow
H: Oh, what time
M: I don't know
H: You don't know. You're going to a funeral and you don't know when it is? (Pause and she is flipping through the ticket for the umpteenth time) Ok, so you say you bought the ticket after she died, and she died a couple weeks ago. So, why is the ticket dated a week before she would have died according to what you just told me? (She was looking at the ticket and it had the date I purchased the ticket).
M: I didn't buy it before she died, I bought it after.
H: Do you have any other family members in Canada.
M: No one other than her husband.
H: he is still alive?
M: yes
She is flipping through the ticket for the 30th time. She stamps it, writes something on it and hands it back to me. She is fully armed and is behind a shield/glass wall wearing a bullet proof vest.
I move on to the next checkpoint. They look at the ticket and tell me to go to a counter and wait for an inspector. I wait. A woman comes up, looks at my ticket and asks me to open the suitcase. She runs her hands through, pulls out some things, rummages around, tells me I can put it back and go.

Now - what was wrong with that incident?

Canada allows any cretin to enter their country, free meal ticket, free transportation, free lodging and some are most certainly al qaida. Me, coming from the US to the great white north, having gone through more security and tighter security than you will find any where but Israel - me, a person who could not have a weapon nor drugs nor a toothpick, me they decide to search. As if Americans are flooding in to Canada to bring them drugs! A country where possession of a small amount of virtually anything is a minor violation akin to jaywalking. But me they will grill, search, and recheck. The al qaida they offer dinner and a movie to.
I don't care what her bloody excuse was - it would be impossible for me to get in to LAX, through the ticket counter, get my suitcase on the plane, get through security if I had anything but clothes on me or in my suitcase. What a bloody waste of time and very telling of Canada's ineptitude - they let the killers in but have a problem when someone wants to go to a funeral.

Part 3: What can you say about a country that less than 10 years ago, ran in to financial problems and opted to review its budget for possible cuts. It found some.

Sidebar: In World War II, Canada had about 1 million men under arms. The total population of Canada at the time was about 12 million. Today thge total population of Canada is less than the state population of California - about 33 million. The total armed forces of Canada are approximately 80,000.

`Canada had been closing bases since the 1970s. The last batch really did them in. There were ten bases across Canada and they closed eight of them. That left two fully operational. Would seem its time to cut back the manpower. Too many men under arms for two operational bases!

Part 4: A country that has 1-2 television stations. Perhaps by the 21st century they have a couple more - gardening and maybe the snow channel. The bulk, all of their stations come from the US and boy do they watch TV (what else can you do when it is winter eight months of the year - either sub freezing, freezing, very cold, bitterly cold, cold, or cool and wet) yet they resent American culture like nobodies business.

Part 5:
Medical - Canada has the universal plan HRC and Obama want for us. What a great system, if you are dead. I am at a loss how anyone with a 1/5 of their brain operational would choose a system that kills off its patients. Why do I say this? Not complicated. Canada has 10 provinces. For medical purposes, Canada is likewise divided up into parts. I don't recall if it is 5,6, or 7 regions, but it is divided up. Each region received X amount of money from the federal government each fiscal year based upon the number of people/claimants from previous year.

For purposes of my example we will have one fiscal year run from Jan 1 through Dec 31. I have no idea what a fiscal year is, but we'll imagine it is the same as a year for the rest of us. Our region has 1,000,000 claimants. The government budgets 10,000,000 for the region. Claimant 1 needs a heart transplant and a pacemaker - cost $350,000 plus another $50,000 for rehab and meds. Claimant 200, 239, 457, 894, 1349, 7983, 10342, 53987, and 12 other people all need the same surgery as number 1 at a cost very similar. A total of nearly $8.5 million. broken legs, x-rays, meds, beds in hospitals, wheelchairs and we have another 1.5 million. Oops, its 10 million and we are only at November 1. Now what happens in this universal health care system???????????????????????????????????????????

If you had an axe fall on your head and you are bleeding to death, they will patch you up, provide the necessary care and tell you to see the doctor Jan 1. goodbye.

If you have some pain in your neck or back or even in your head, but all is functional - they will schedule you for Jan 1 or after. You better hope you get in soon or the appointments will be in Feb or Mar.
Now assume you go in to see the doctor Jan 1 for the pain in the head and the doctor does x-rays and it comes back cancer, but its too late - they send you home. And that's just how it works. Ain't life grand.
When someone really needs medical care, they come to the US. Within the last six months a story of a woman who was about to have quadruplets. She lived in the midwest in Canada, perhaps Alberta. The problem - Canada only had so many rooms for women who were about to have quadruplets. They had to fly her to the US. And that's just how it works. Ain't life grand.

The HMO system in the US ... that's the foundation for the universal system. Each person would have a primary care doctor they can choose, choice, free will ... and any time you need to see another doctor: dermatologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, internist ...you would see your primary care doctor first and he would tell you whether you should see anyone else. His choice, not yours. But you do get to choose him. And that's just how it works. Ain't life grand.

They guard their borders unless you are al qaida and claim refugee status. They provide free health care unless they run out of money. They have a military unless they run out of money and close the bases - imagine, a military without a base.

They have a culture - it may be white and cold and wear mukluks or snowshoes, but they also have beer and moose. PETA should head north - visit the moose. Which brings up my final comment on Canada - animals and their loathsome treatment of wildlife.

Each year beginning at the end of March, Canadian fishermen/killers, slaughter over 350,000 seals. In particularly gruesome fashion.

Sidebar: There are always exceptions. If someone has a fishery and fifty seals are sitting outside eating all the fish as they leave, I can understand the need to take some action.

They take their pelts and sell them. If it were to save the fish, pelts wouldn't be needed - just slaughter the seals and be rid of the problem. That isn't the reason, entirely - around 1986-1988, the Canadian government very nearly abolished seal hunting. The numbers went from the hundreds of thousands down to ten thousand or so. It was on its way to extinction and then ... the fishermen in Canada were caught in an international fish conundrum. Major fishers from Japan, Scandinavia, and the US were fishing Canadian fish and the Canadian fishermen couldn't catch any because everyone else got them first and seals ate a few more. So the Canadian government decided to use the seal hunt as a means of underwriting Canadian fishermen. The seals were meant as a subsidy - kill the seals and profit off them. It wasn't anything as noble as saving salmon for spawning. It was a subsidy.

And that's just the way it goes. Ain't life grand. Especially if you are a seal and it's March.

Finally, polar bears. There are 22,000 or so in the world. We hear enough in the US about the poor polar bear and Bush is drowning all the cubs in global warming and how unkind he is and how sad the bears are and we need to save the polar bears from drowning ... so the Canadian government can kill them! And that's just how it works. Ain't life grand, unless you're a polar bear. ONLY CANADA (where there are approximately 15,000) allows NON native peoples to kill polar bears. In the other 7-8 countries where polar bears live, only the native peoples of that country are permitted to shoot or kill a polar bear and those numbers are regulated. In Canada, you purchase a license for approximately $12,000 which includes the tour and accommodations and the right to skin one polar bear you shoot. Now, to be fair, many who take up this offer are not Canadians - although a growing number want a nice warm rug for those eight months of winter.

And that's just how it works. Ain't life grand.

A country that has sat on the verge of collapse for over 30 years. The division between the French and English is as real and very nearly as similar to the North and the South in the 1860s. The federal government throughout the 80s and 90s bribed Quebec to not vote for separation. Capitulation after capitulation to Quebec and the french at the expense of the English speaking Canadians. The result - political parties in the West of Canada that aligned themselves more closely with the US than with Eastern Canada. They pull back from the precipice only to climb out on the ledge every 10 years or so. They will try it again soon enough.
Let's see - am I missing anything eh? Hmm. Bobs your uncle and oh yes, we purchase 20% of our oil from Canada, making them one of our biggest trading partners. In fact, Canada has for quite some time been sending us nearly twice as much oil as we get from Saudi Arabia. Moose and Beer and eh and O Canada and all that white stuff they call snow. I think I've covered about everything.

They have a Prime Minister at the moment who is a reasonable sort, he has apologized to the US for his predecessor. We have no need to send any team to Canada to tell them we're open for business. No need. Save the dogsleds.

That sorts out Canada. Next, Mexico.

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UPDATE: July 2008
Montreal - The summer tourism season has arrived in Old Montreal, but the tourists have not.
The streets, restaurants, and boutiques of this picturesque 18th-century neighborhood are usually crowded with Americans on holiday. But this year, they're eerily quiet, and area businesspeople say this could be the worst year yet for an industry that's taken a beating since 2001.

"Each year there's been a challenge: We had 9/11 and the SARS outbreak, the exchange rate, and high gas prices," says Gisele Beauvais Olivier as she arranges Quebecois ceramics in her boutique on Rue St Paul. "Americans are very good customers who appreciate handicrafts, but they are not here as usual."

It's a situation being played out across Canada, where visits by Americans have been plummeting for years. In March, the last month for which official statistics have been released, visits by Americans fell to their lowest level since record keeping began 36 years ago. Data released June 28 showed foreign tourist spending in the first quarter fell to the lowest level since 1999, and that the number of US visitors has fallen by nearly a third since 2003.

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Maybe the number of Americans visiting has dropped because of women like the one I ran in to at the airport. It was enough for me to say - never again. I don't care if she was a one time anomaly. She was enough.