After watching several social-dramas / love stories on HBO or On-Demand, a few points become clear.
For whatever it is worth, the following gets added because, believe it or not, in some form or another, it is relevant.
Sexy is honesty. Sexy is truth. Sexy is direct and straight forward answers. Sexy is being considerate and treating others with respect.
It is not very passionate - granted. It is not exciting - granted. It is healthy. It is better for you and will bring you more happiness than all the rest of that crap combined.
Playing games, lies, obfuscation, half truths, refusing to answer questions, indirect and vague answers - NOT sexy. In fact, people who make it a habit to do more than one of the above listed deserve ignominy. I understand public ridicule may be a little extreme for someone who tells half truths, but (generalizing here) they are most likely to do more than just one hence the satisfaction of my requirement for ignominy.
It has nothing to do with the physical age of the person - that behavior is learned and it is unhealthy to get involved with those people. My suggestion - listen to them, talk to them, and put off ever being alone with them for fear they could turn mad as a hatter. Never let them know you will never meet them anywhere except at church and in public with hundreds of people around. Never let on because they will become easily offended and call you a hypocrite or worse.
Do not waste time on such people. Walk on the other side of the street when you see them. If Catholic, make the sign of the cross to ward off evil tendencies that may creep your way. Do not try to fix them or accept them - simply let them go off and drown in their miserable lives.
It may not seem that they are miserable BUT in most cases they are even if by all appearances the facade they show everyone is anything but unhappy.
Only they can help themselves and until they realize that games and lies will never make them happy nor will it attract the right people to them, until then - let them drown. The day will come when most of them will wake up - they may be too old, or used up, or thrown away, but many do wake up. You are permitted to pray they wake up sooner than later.
When they grow up (and I do not mean their physical age) be willing to give them the chance to prove it.
Some indications they have grown up:
1) they will not raise the names of people from their past.
2) they will not place demands on you, if they do not meet the smallest requirements you have asked of them (call on the phone or be willing to acknowledge feelings or mistakes)
3) when plans are mentioned, they keep their word or contact you when they cannot.
Those 3 points would be a start. Even if they get offended and claim you are at fault consider the following: if you have analyzed your comments and actions, perhaps consulted with 1-2 people, and provided them with the comments and consulted them for opinions, and if after all of that you seem to be the one who is less of a problem - stick to your requirements and do not give in. They may huff and puff and hiss - let them and say goodbye. One day if they are honest with themselves, they will understand what happened and will return and apologize. Until then you really do not need them near you. All of the above suggestions DO NOT MEAN, INTIMATE, SUGGEST, IMPLY, CONNOTE that you are not madly head over heels for them and may always be - rather - you do what you do because you must, for your own sanity.
Let them be angry, calm down, and get back to you when they feel better - or switch channels.
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